Let me save you
by EvilKath
Summary: After The Long Con Kate wonders why Sawyer hurt her, she goes to him but they argue and Kate runs away to the jungle. How will Sawyer react when her life is in danger? Skate.
1. Why?

Hi guys, I present you the first chapter of my fic. Let me know if you like it.  
Sorry if there are mistakes, cause english is not my first language. Hope you enjoy it.

Title: Let me save you.  
Skate, a little bit of Jate  
Summary: What must happen to make them realise how much they mean to eachother... (After TLC)  
Status: WIP  
Time: Post TLC. There may be some S2 spoilers  
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost, I don't own any characters but I wish I could own Sawyer... . 

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_**Chapter 1**_

She was walking aimlessly through the beach admiring the beauty of the shimmering sea ... she let her thoughts wander, unaware of everything happening around her. There was only one thing on her mind at the moment.. Sawyer.. "Why did he do this to me?" she thought, feeling disappointed and.. yes, sad.  
_  
_

_Because he cares, because he is afraid just like you are_

She hated that inner voice, voice that said things she was afraid to admit to herself.  
"You run, I con"… Kate knew it was a lie, that it was only an excuse to push her and everyone else away and even though she felt so angry, she understood him even too well. But then.. everything was starting to be almost normal, when he woke up after the illness and during the next few days they both seemed so happy together, _he_ seemed so happy, she thought… but he didn't let her help him, although she could, although she was probably the only person in the whole world that could bring him back to light from his misery.

She didn't realize that her legs led her straight to his tent. He was sleeping on the ground, covered with a blanket from the hatch, looking so peaceful and quiet. Kate couldn't turn her stare away from him. She'd never seen him looking so calm before. Every time he was awake he was smiling, making some sarcastic remarks or just shouting at someone. And that sight of him, so innocent was new and that amazed her. She felt sudden urge to come closer and touch his cheek, feel his skin under her palm, gently kiss his forehead just as she did before, when he was unconscious.  
Even thinking of it made her body shiver and that scared her so much that she turned around quickly, too quickly. She heard his breath hitch, then there was almost unnoticeable change in his breathing pattern behind her and before she could disappear from his view, he grabbed her wrist firmly.

"What were ya doing here Freckles? Came to tell me something or just to admire the view?"

She closed her eyes, still not wanting to face him, after a second or two she finally found strength in herself to look at him. He was not calm anymore, the expression on his face she had seen before disappeared. Once again Sawyer was a conman, sonovabitch that didn't care about anything but himself.  
_  
_

_And you _

"So sweetcheeks? Didn't answer my question.."

"I wanted to talk to you, but it can wait. I will come back later" After saying these words she turned and once again left his tent, but Sawyer didn't want to give up that easily. He jumped on his feet and for the second time this morning grabbed her wrist.

"We can talk now" His voice was soft and delicate and it made her panic because she couldn't think of anything that she could talk with him about.   
"It's nothing important, let me go" Kate's skin was burning; it was too difficult for her to stand the heat of his look and the light touch of his hand.

"As you wish princess, but please do me a favor, don't come sniffing around here anymore. I don't like it when people wander around my stuff" Even as he was saying those words, Sawyer knew it was a mistake, there was a flicker of pain in her beautiful eyes but out of sudden it turned into rage.

"I don't want anything from you, I'm not like you Sawyer" Her voice was filled with anger now. But he was a conman and could see right through her. He understood that she was trying to hide how much his words hurt her. However he started that game and couldn't stop words that came into his lips. He hated every bit of his dark soul when the remark reached his mouth, but it was too late.

"You're just like me sweetheart, cold-blooded murderer, not caring about anyone, even on that damn island you couldn't stop playing your little games. You played with me, you played with doc, God I wouldn't be surprised if you even made out with Locke, I bet he has got something that you need"

_Don't cry, don't let him see that he meant… still means anything to you._

She was calm, for a second he thought that she would just smile, that maybe he didn't fuck it all up after all, that maybe he still had a chance to win her back, but the hope faded when he looked at her face and met her stare, there was nothing in her eyes but coldness and hatred.  
"Go to hell, Sawyer" With those words Kate turned around and walked into the jungle.She didn't look back. She couldn't. Because then he would see tears streaming slowly down her face.


	2. Beginning

Disclaimer: Well… you know…

Ok guys, thanks for reviews

Chapter 2

He watched her walking away, and that sight broke his heart into thousands of different pieces but he couldn't move.

_"Go to hell Sawyer" _

Her voice was not trembling when she said those words, she meant what she said. She didn't even look back, when she reached the trees. It was over.  
_Over_..one single tear appeared in his eye but he wiped it fast.  
"Now I've got what I wanted, and there ain't anything I can do about that, can't change what I've said" he thought bitterly.

_  
Go after her, tell her that you're sorry, say that you will do everything just to hear "I forgive you"_

Sawyer yearned to do that, he knew that it was his last chance, and that once she disappears from his view there will be no turning back. He understood that and frightened, unconsciously made one step towards her but then he stopped, frozen to the ground.

_You don't deserve her. You will only bring her suffering. And do you want her to suffer? After all that she did for you? You can't say a word that would not offend her feelings. Hell, you're such a bastard that you don't even know how to say sorry. Thank God she's not in love with you yet, if she was, she wouldn't be so calm when she was telling you to go to hell. She'll be better off with doc._

He suddenly pictured Kate in his mind. Not a serious Kate with that shadow on her amazing face that appeared every time she was concerned about him, every time she was even talking to him but Kate smiling and happy, without any worries. However, as he was thinking about her, he realized that in his vision she was not talking to him but to Jack, that only Jack was able to make her feel joyful.

Sawyer felt that it wasn't exactly the whole truth, sometimes Kate was relaxed in his presence too, and he made her laugh hundreds of times but he was the last man on earth that could make her feel safe. And it was safety that she needed most. Not desire, not passion, not stupid jokes or sarcastic comments but safety. Sawyer wasn't able to give her that and he hated himself for it.

Deep inside he knew that what he said to her before was partly true. He was a conman, he was a cold-blooded murderer. And she didn't deserve to end up with him.  
For the first time in his whole fucing life he was going to do "the right thing"… even if it meant pain, even if it meant losing the only person that could make him feel like a good man, worthy man. He was going to let her go, let her move on and find peace in the arms of doc. He had messed up his own life but didn't want to destroy hers.

Slowly he turned back and walked into his tent, reached for his backpack and took something that he had hidden before for a _rainy day_… Hell he needed it more than ever… The bottle of the original Jack Daniels glittered in his hand and he admired it for a moment, it was his ol' friend who had helped him make it through the worst moments in his life. He opened it fast and took a deep swig. There was only one way to forget about the woman he _lov_… the expression on his face changed dramatically… yes he loved her and couldn't deny it. Well another great reason to get drunk and forget about everything, about her, Jacko, that damn craphole Island. He wanted to erase every single memory of what had happened for the last few months, and he was going to do it effectively. Every minute the bottle was getting emptier…

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Kate was struggling through the jungle not even knowing where she was heading, at first she wanted to go to Jack, tell him everything and cry on his shoulder but then she realized that there was nothing he could do, Jack couldn't comfort her or ease her pain, and even if he could, there were still too many things left unsaid between them, too many mistakes.

_Like the kiss _

Jack was mad at her and Kate couldn't blame him, she had acted like a lunatic for the last weeks and every day on that Island was driving her crazy. But even monsters, polar bears or the others couldn't change the fact that those past few months were almost like a dream, that she was actually happy here, and Kate couldn't recall when was the last time she had so much fun with someone else like when she was with Sawyer.

_Never_

Maybe he was an asshole, but the time she spent in his presence, all the moments they shared were the happiest moments in her whole life. And yet he said all those things. His eyes didn't lie, he meant it. Maybe she really didn't deserve anything good in this life; she was so stupid to believe that there may be something fortunate waiting for her in the future but it was all a lie, a con.

_So why do you want to live then? Why don't you put yourself out of your misery? That would be so easy, you've got a gun, he gave it to you… all you have to do is to pull the trigger and finally you will be able to rest…_

That thought made her feel even lonelier, and once again tears filled her eyes and obscured her vision. But she didn't stop running, she was Kate Austin, and if there was one thing she was good at, it was running. Away from danger, away from problems, away from life.  
It filled her with calmness; she slowed down a little, making her way through the bushes. Now when her pace was steady she didn't have to think. She didn't want to face everything, because the wound was too fresh and pain to nagging.  
So Kate cleared her mind, determined to forget him. She was happy when it started raining. First raindrops mixed with tears that were rolling down her cheeks. The tropical storm not only lowered the heat but it also assured her that no one would find her now, even Locke…

"_I wouldn't be surprised if you even made out with Locke, I bet he has got something that you need"_

Those words were so cruel… how could he say it? But then, he was right, Kate Austin was ready to use everyone if it was going to help her get what she needed. But on this island Kate Austin was dead… she was only Kate here (or Freckles) but not a murderer, a normal woman with normal problems.  
_  
_

_But he told everyone who you are._

How can one person bring you so much pain and happiness at the same time? With every minute the distance between her and the beach increased. She was running among the trees, not even noticing that she'd never been here before that she was lost and would not be able to find the way back to the camp…

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours and before she could even realize, the night came.  
It was cold now, she was soaking wet because of the rain and every inch of her body was freezing. Kate was trembling. She knew that she would have to find somewhere to hide if she wanted to survive the night in the jungle. _Alone_.

She cursed Sawyer for what he did to her, if it wasn't for him, she would still be on the beach, eating supper with Jack or Hurley and then she could go to sleep on the warm sand. But she wasn't there and she didn't have much choice now.


	3. Alone

_**Disclaimer: well… I'm gonna own Jack someday, just wait…**_

_**Chapter 3**_

Kate was ill. She was shaking, constant shivers run through her whole body. It came in the middle of the night, when she was resting in the bottom of a small cave that she used as a shelter. It was cold… too cold. Kate knew that her fever was not a mild one, it was high and, as far as she was able to recognize the symptoms, almost as bad as the one Sawyer had when he came back with Eko. But she was still conscious.

_Still _

How long would it take the fever to kill her? To end it once for all? Probably a few days. At first she would lose consciousness, and then it wouldn't be long. Without water, food or medicines it would be only a matter of hours.  
But she was afraid, not afraid of dying or pain, but afraid of staying alone for her last days. Kate realized that even though she didn't want to admit it, she got used to having people around her.

_Friends_

Slowly she got up from the ground, determined to go back, to find her way _home_.

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"Sawyer! Where the hell is she?"

He heard someone shouting at him. That voice was so damn loud… why wouldn't he go away and let him sleep? Sawyer opened one eye and noticed Jack standing right in front of him, luckily the headache wasn't as bad as he was afraid it would be, but the sun was shining so bright... god, he really hoped it was something important, because if not, he would kill Jack instantly even if he was the only doctor on that creepy island.

"What is that smell?" Now there was expression of disgust and curiosity on Jack's face. "Were you drinking? I thought you gave us all your alcohol when we were saving Boone" His accusative tone was hard to miss.

"Well, I guess you were wrong then, Doc. What the hell do you want from me? Don't you have someone to save? I'm pretty sure that such a hero as you is in demand"

"Where is she?" Jack ignored Sawyer's last comment, he was furious and didn't even try to hide it. "Sun told me that she saw you both shouting and struggling yesterday morning, and no one have seen her since then. So I'm asking you once again. The last time. Where. Is. She?"

Sawyer tried to focus on what Jack had just said. He knew that there was something important that he should remember, he knew that something had happened previous day but couldn't recall what it was.  
_  
_

_Think, think… she was here, you were talking and… _

Suddenly all memories stroke him, everything he said, everything he did came back to him more painful than ever. But he didn't want Jack to know about their quarrel, so he responded with his usual southern drawl, trying to sound as casual as always.

"So why do you think it has got anything to do with me? Besides, she's a big girl, can stay alone for a few hours in the jungle. And probably she's with Sayid or Locke or someone, have no idea why you're so afraid, I've seen her two or three hours ago" He looked at his watch and grinned. "God it's not even noon yet. Relax doc, I'm sure your girlfriend is just fine"

_Hell, he was going to need aspirin or something… the beer would be best but how to find a good cold beer in a place like that?_

"Sawyer, it's not even noon, you're right, but check the date, you passed out yesterday morning, which actually doesn't surprise me since you've drank whole bottle of whisky" Jack was calmer now "And Kate disappeared about 25 hours ago. She had spent the night alone in the jungle, and we have no idea where to find her, because it has been raining all evening and there are no tracks left"

Slowly the meaning of what Jack said reached him. Sawyer at once forgot about pain, about his headache, about the terrible hangover. The only thing he could now think about was her.

"So why the hell are you still here? Why didn't you start looking for her yesterday?" Sawyer was angry, but not at Jack, he hated himself because he knew he was the one responsible for all of it, and if something happened to her, if she… no, he didn't even want to form those horrible words in his mind, but he knew that he would never forgive himself for that. If she died he would follow her, he would kill himself, because there would be nothing left in this world worth staying for.

"_There ain't anything on this island worth staying for" He realized that he had said those words before. He lied then, but got the second chance, he saw her again. And wasted it._

"We didn't know she was missing, I thought she was in the camp, people here thought she was in the hatch with me… so I came to you Sawyer, because I'm sure you must know something, anything. You were the last person she spoke to, maybe she said where she was going. Sawyer why did she run away? You were arguing. What was that about?" Jack was afraid and Sawyer could feel that… he could almost sense his dismay

_Yeah, of course he is terrified, after all it is HIS girlfriend… _

"Listen Jack, what we were talking about is none of your business. Besides, I'm sure she didn't run away because of that"

_You're a liar and you know that, she run away because you hurt her feelings. Maybe she loves doc, but she had a thing for you too, so maybe she wanted to go and think somewhere alone and then, when she was lost in thoughts a polar bear, or monster or the others could easily… _

"She was crying" Jack's voice was silent… maybe even shaking a little bit. As if he didn't want to mention that, as if even thinking of it was painful.  
"What?" At first Sawyer didn't understand, then it came to him.

_She was crying because of you, she cared…_

"She was crying after your fight. When she was disappearing in the jungle Sun saw that her whole face was flooded with tears. She even tried to stop her, but Kate acted like she didn't notice anything around her. So it's not hard to guess that she run away because of you."

_It is all your fault, like everything in your life you fucked it up too… You always hurt everyone you care about… your mother, Cassidy, and now her. _

"We need to find her Jack" He was serious. He was going to find her or die trying.

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With every step she was getting closer to the beach, closer to _him_. But Kate was tired, incredibly tired. Her legs were weak and didn't want to carry her. She had stumbled dozens of times, even stopped counting. Her whole body was yearning to give up, but she didn't want to, she wanted to see him one last time. He was driving her nuts, hurting her, he didn't even care whether she was alive or not, but she wanted to see him grinning, watch his cute dimples and hold his warm hand. Then she could die.

She was hearing whispers in the jungle. Kate didn't know if what she heard were the others or the wind, or maybe just hallucinations. But it scared her… and gave strength to keep going.


	4. Leaving on your mind

Disclaimer: I waaant to own something (or someone…) but I don't…

Special thanks to my kind reviewers: **steam rolled harry potter, Myralee8 **(your review made me all boogie :D ) and **moonhowler14**

_**Chapter 4**_

"We need to create a search team" Jack's voice was loud and clear. He was surrounded by about 40 people, who were listening carefully to what he was saying. They were waiting for someone who would give orders, tell them what to do and Jack, like always in situations like that, became a leader.

"Sayid, Ana Lucia, John…Me, ok I think this will be enough. Rest of you must stay here, in case she comes back. Hurley until we return, I want you to be in charge of the button, you have to remember about shifts. Charlie, make sure that our camp is protected, if anything happens take people to the hatch. Understand? Ok so…"  
"Wait a minute" sudden interruption surprised Jack, but there was only one person who would disturb when he was speaking.  
"Sawyer." Rather statement than question. "What do you want?"  
"I'm coming with you" He wasn't asking for permission. They both knew that he would go whether Jack liked it or not. There was no point in arguing. But Jack couldn't let Sawyer do whatever he liked without saying what he wanted to say.  
"I thought you were happy she had run away. After all, you made her do it. Didn't know you care" Sawyer shot him a murderous look but responded in his usual cocky way.  
"I told ya, I'm full of surprises. Besides, I didn't finish talking with your girlfriend doc, and I've got something to tell her…" Sawyer's eyes were cold.

_Don't argue with me doc, or you will regret it.  
I. Am. Going. With. You._

They stared at each other for a few seconds. The air was full of tension, they didn't even attempt to hide their hatred. Both of them scared for the same woman. Both ready to do everything to save her. Jack was first to break the silence.  
"Ok Sawyer, you can go." He turned his stare from him, and once again faced the group, that witnessed their wordless challenge.  
"We will divide into two troops. Sayid, you'll go with John, Ana Lucia you'll come with me, Sawyer…" There was a short pause but Sawyer instantly filled the silence "I'm going with you doc"  
Jack nodded, he was happy with that choice, at least he could keep his eye on Sawyer now. He still didn't know what that bastard did to Kate but was pretty sure that it wasn't anything pleasant. Whatever it was, he wanted to make sure that once they find her, Sawyer won't be able to hurt her again.  
"So, take some food and water. We will meet here in 15 minutes and part the searching area between our troops"

Sawyer turned back to his tent, walked in quickly and took everything he thought would be necessary. Then he checked if no one was watching him and walked into the jungle… he knew exactly where he was heading…

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"So are we ready? I've divided the area into two parts. Sayid, you and Locke will go north, I'm taking south… wait a second, where the hell is Sawyer?" Jack was clearly irritated.  
There was a smirk behind him and loud response "Right behind you, Jackass".  
"Next time try not to be late. We were about to go without you"  
"Then you should be glad you didn't, cause I've brought something that may come in handy." With those words he showed them four 9mms.  
"So, you've decided to give them back Sawyer?" Jack raised his brow in surprise.  
"Doc, I ain't giving anything, just lending. And… Freckles has got carte blanche. So lets say I don't have much choice, do I? Sayid, Locke take two of them, here you've got some ammo. I really hope you won't have to use it" There was a little bit of concern in Sawyers tone, which disappeared immediately when he turned to Jack and met his gaze. "Don't worry, I've got one for you too doc." He handed the gun slowly to Jack, as if he was wondering whether he made a good decision. Jack grabbed it quickly and slipped it carefully under his belt. Sawyer watched him for a moment before he started talking again.  
"So since everything is done, we may now…"  
"Not so fast…" He heard a low, threatening voice behind him, then someone grabbed his arm firmly. "Where is a gun for me?" Ana Lucia was furious and everybody could sense it. Sawyer smiled ironically and turned to her.  
"You ain't gonna get a gun sweetheart." His voice was serious and that startled her.  
"Why?"  
"Well I could just say that I don't trust you. But if you really want to know it seems to me that you've already killed one innocent person on this island. Sayid was understanding and, though I don't I get it, he has a right to act as he wants. But if you hurt Kate, damn, if you killed her I wouldn't forgive you like Sayid did, I would have to kill you too. And I really don't want another murder on my conscious now, so I'm not giving you gun for both our sakes. Is it ok with you sweetheart?"   
She looked as if she was about to cry, but she nodded slowly, fully understanding him. Jack, Sayid, Locke, they all thought that Sawyer was nothing more than a sonovabitch who cared only for himself, but she knew better. He just loved that girl. And although that shocked her a little, she couldn't blame him for that.   
Without another word she passed him by and followed Jack, who vanished among the trees a few moments earlier.

"Everything ok?" Jack asked concerned, when he noticed her presence by his side. "He didn't give you the gun, so I thought…"  
"No, It's great" She interrupted him "We just had to clear some things out, but it's all fine now, don't worry" Then, almost unnoticeable smile appeared on her full lips. "To tell you the truth, I've got a feeling that some day we're gonna be friends, don't you think cowboy?  
A loud smirk was the only response she got.

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"So, what do you think?" Locke's question broke the silence that fell between them when they had left the beach.  
"About what?" Sayid sounded a little distracted, he preferred silence because then he could let his thoughts wander around Nadia, Shannon… Ana Lucia.  
"About all of this, Kate, her disappearance. Do you think she has been kidnapped by those "others"? She found something in the jungle with Danielle and Claire, maybe they were afraid she would lead us back to this place." John's voice was calm but there was also something else hidden under the casual tone, something that made him sound almost like fanatic.

That slightest change didn't slip Sayid's attention. He knew what it meant. Locke was disappointed when Kate said that she wouldn't be able to find that mysterious place again. He, like most of the people in the camp assumed that she lied to protect something or someone . Still John couldn't force her to take him back to the second hatch. 

"You can't change your destiny Kate!" There was a hint of insanity in Locke's behavior when they were arguing. Sayid knew there was something wrong with John and that made him keep a close eye on him.

Thinking about it, he realized that Locke was still waiting for his answer.   
"I seriously doubt it John. She probably got lost… maybe she is hurt, the jungle is dangerous and we all know it, but I don't think that "the others" had anything to do with that."  
Locke didn't respond but only smiled thoughtfully as if he knew something that no one else did.

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_If you got leaving on your mind  
Tell me now, get it over  
Hurt me now, get it over  
If you got leaving on your mind._

She kept playing that song in her head. It helped her stay conscious, make another step. Patsy Cline was with her in her worst moments. And she didn't leave her now too, when everybody else did.

_Jack_

She suddenly started thinking about him… Did he leave her too? Or maybe he was looking for her... It would be so easy to rest in his arms, to find calmness, close eyes and just stop thinking.

_  
Stop breathing…_

He would make all the decisions for her just like he always did. But she had already tried to find peace with him and she couldn't do it. The kiss… if only she hadn't run away then, everything would be so simple. She chosed Sawyer… but he didn't give a damn about her.   
_  
_

"_Frankly my dear I don't give a damn"_

She smiled weakly… "My condition must be really bad if I'm quoting "Gone with the Wind"… " She thought "But then, Sawyer has got a lot in common with Rhett" That idea amused Kate… she stopped for a moment considering it. She was breathing heavily because the long walk exhausted her, drawing air into her lungs was more paiful with every minute. Suddenly she started coughing very hoarsely, tried to stop it by putting hand to her mouth but to her horror she noticed small dots of blood on her palm. It was the last thing she saw before the world turned black.


	5. Found

_**Disclaimer**- Well, you know..._

_**Chapter 5**_

"Does any of you know anything about tracking?" Ana's voice sounded weird in the strangely quiet jungle "Because it seems to me that we're just wandering around without any logical aim… or maybe I'm wrong? Jack?"

Jack stopped and looked at her for a moment, then he nodded slowly. "We should've taken someone who knows his way around the jungle, Kate gave me once some advices about tracking but I guess I'm not even half as good as she was…"

"She _is_, Jack, she _is_" There was something in Sawyer's voice that made Jack look at him closely, it was hard to notice but his tone was strangely similar to the one he used that night when he was dying…

_When he said he loved her _

Those words in Sawyer's lips were so out of place. It didn't sound like him. If he knew what he had said, he would probably not believe it either. But he did say it, and he did have that expression on his tough-guy face sometimes… just like now.

"You're both talking about her as if she was already dead" Sawyer quickly replaced his anxiety with anger.

Jack shook his head in disbelief, if that man had some hidden feelings underneath his toughness, he had concealed it very good.

But Sawyer was nervous. Kate had been out there for one and a half day and every minute it was getting more and more dangerous.

_She couldn't have been that upset about what I said… I acted like a complete moron but…  
What if she decided to live alone like that French Chick? No, she wouldn't have done that...  
Then where is she?_

Thoughts fought in Sawyer's mind… he felt as if he was getting crazy... He wanted to find her, he would do everything just to see her, touch her. She could go and kiss Doc then, he didn't care as long as she was safe. In fact, he didn't change his mind, she would be happier with Jack.

"Shit… how the hell are we suppose to find her when she is our only damn tracker, except Locke?" He was getting flustered and couldn't deny it.  
"Maybe I could help you" Out of sudden they heard a deep, low voice coming from the bushes and within a second an impressive man appeared right in front of them.  
"Eko" Ana smiled, obviously pleased to see him "We should've thought about you in the first place, but we were in such a rush, besides I didn't see you back there on the beach"  
"I've been already looking for her traces in the forest". Everyone stared at him, waiting for him to continue.  
"And did you find anything? Sawyer asked quickly to interrupt Jack, who was already opening his mouth to speak.

Eko smiled delicately and looked straight into his eyes. Sawyer suddenly got unpleasant feeling that he was being judged. He must've had passed the test, because Eko grinned and responded "Not a long way from here in the forest I found her tracks" But then his expression became serious again, the smile vanished from his face "We must hurry though, I think she was lying on the ground for quite some time, and Jack…" Eko paused for a moment "There was blood on the ground"

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"_Leave her alone you sonovabitch! How can you do this to her?" Katie's voice grew louder and louder, eventually it turned into cry. "She's your damn wife!"  
"Yes sweetcheeks, but you're my daughter and you are supposed to do what I tell you" Wayne responded silently, with anger and a bit of satisfaction in his voice. "And now, I'm telling you to shut up, cause I didn't finish with your mother yet. But don't worry I will find time to take care of my beautiful daughter later"  
"You're not my father" Katie was desperate, on the edge of breakdown  
"My father is a hero, he is someone you will never be, and you're only a piece of trash Wayne, that's all you are!"  
_

"_So you think I'm not you're father?" Something in Wayne's tone made Katie stop crying, she felt a gulp in her throat, suddenly the rage disappeared , she was waiting for a sentence now and when Wayne spoke again she knew what he was going to say  
"I'm sorry to disappoint you honey, but…"_

"Kate!" The noise was muffled but still disturbing. Kate heard it but it sounded like someone was shouting from a long distance.

_Why don't they let me sleep, he almost said that, he almost revealed the truth…  
_

"Kate, where are you?"  
_  
_

_That voice… so familiar…  
_

"Here she is! Come quickly!"

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Eko led them through the bushes to the place where he found Kate's traces. They started searching, moving slowly towards the beach, because it looked that she was heading back to the camp. With every minute dread rose in their hearts. They knew that they would find her eventually, but what if it would be too late?

"Kate!" Sawyer couldn't stand it anymore, he knew that she probably had passed out somewhere near and deep in his heart he hoped that maybe she would hear him, give a sign. "Kate, where are you!".

Jake was about to silence Sawyer but at the same time Ana Lucia gasped loudly and cried "Here she is! Come quickly!" She was evidently terrified.  
Jack and Sawyer run to her immediately but the sight stiffened them to the ground and for a second they just couldn't move.

Kate was lying on the ground on her back, her shirt was soaked with blood, partly from the cut on her arm, but they all knew that the wound was too shallow to cause so much bleeding. Kate's face was covered with mud and grass, she looked so delicate, so helpless.

Jack was the first who moved. He sat by Kate's side and checked her pulse. At the same time he felt both a flicker of relief and panic. She was still alive but her pulse was weak, too weak. And there was too much blood on her tank top. Just as he was looking at her chest, she coughed loudly and few more red dots appeared on her lips.  
"We need to take her to the hatch, now!" Jack's voice was shaking, during his whole career as a doctor he never felt so terrified about anything or anyone. That wasn't just another case, it was _Kate _now, and everything was different.

"Eko, you will make stretcher with Sawyer…" but he didn't finish the sentence, because Sawyer, who until then was standing motionlessly moved quickly, kneeled by Kate and took her body gently in his arms.

For a moment he just stared at her with mellowness in his eyes. Jack, Ana, even Eko watched him in bewilderment. They had never seen him behaving like that.  
Then in a second all the walls that surrounded his heart and his soul broke down. Tears started streaming down his face, his rough features softened. He stood up slowly and moved into direction of the hatch with Kate's body in his arms. His lips were moving slowly. No one knew whether he was praying for the first time in his life, trying to drive Death away or just renewing his promise… "If you die, I will follow"…Maybe even he didn't know the answer.

Silently Ana, Jack and Eko followed Sawyer, none of them dared to speak, knowing how fragile Kate's life was now. They didn't let themselves think that maybe it was already too late…


	6. Death

Disclaimer: Don't own Lost

Special thanks to all my reviewers, I'm happy you like my story… believe me I'm doing my best to make it even better :)

**Chapter 6**

They didn't realize how long they'd been looking for Kate and how far in the jungle they got. It took them almost three hours to come back with her to the Hatch. They walked as if they were in some sort of a trance, trying to block all the thoughts that were coming to their minds.

When they finally reached their aim it was almost midnight. Ana Lucia got there first, Jack asked her to go ahead and prepare everything for them. He had to stay with Eko and Sawyer in case Kate needed immediate help. But she was terribly calm, in fact she looked like she was already dead. It came to Sawyer's mind that if he hadn't been carrying her, he would have gone mad. She was so pale, only because he felt the warmth of her body and her quiet breath, he knew she was alive. She stopped coughing some time before and now the only trace of life in her was almost unnoticeable movement of her chest.

He felt relieved when he saw the entrance to the Hatch. Somewhere inside he hoped deeply that once they reached it, everything would be ok, Jack would do all the "doctor stuff" and heal her. After all, that was what he did for living, he was a goddamn doctor and he would know what to do.

_But you saw his face when he was examining her… you saw how horrified he was. And he has already failed here on the island. He couldn't save the Marshall, he couldn't save Boone. _

_He can fail again._

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Ana Lucia was waiting in the open door, she helped them carry Kate to the bedroom and lay her gently on the bunk bed. Then, out of sudden, Sawyer felt sick and lost his balance. Ana Lucia caught him just in time as he was about to fall down.

"You need to rest, you carried her here on your own back, you're clearly exhausted" Ana was really concerned about him and that surprised him. That's why he responded more delicately than he originally intended.

"No, I have to stay here, I _need_ to stay here" he looked her in the eye and after a while she finally nodded. "Ok, stay here if you like, but please be careful, eat something. You have to be strong to kick her ass for running away when she wakes up" She smiled at him and left the room quickly, passing Jack who came with all the medicines that were in their possession.

Jack felt like he was experiencing the same event for the second time in his life. He moved closer to the bunk bed and touched Kate's forehead. She had a very high fever, constant shivers run through her body.

It was just like when Sawyer came back with the gunshot wound. But her condition was far worse than his had been. After all, Sawyer was a strong man and she was only a weak woman… a girl almost. Maybe stronger than most of women he knew but still, her immune system was too weak to fight the infection off on its own.

He took Kate's body from the bed and turned around to carry her to the bathroom. That scene was so familiar. It hadn't been more than two weeks ago, when he had been doing the same with Sawyer, and now he had to save Kate. How ironic.

But Jack couldn't get through the door, because he was blocked by Sawyer who appeared right in front of him with a murderous look. It wasn't hard to notice that he could barely stand on his legs but still didn't want to move and let Jack leave with Kate.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, doc? " At first Jack felt anger but then he realized that Sawyer was almost delirious and for once he could understand his motives "Don't worry Sawyer" he started calmly "I need to take her to the shower to decrease her fever, it will be all right, we did the same with you and it worked, so trust me" Sawyer thought about it for a moment and eventually moved from the passage. Then he followed Jack to the bathroom.

Jack put Kate under the shower and slowly unbuttoned her shirt. He felt slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed because of Sawyer's presence, but also because deep inside he had wanted to do this for a long time, and knew that in a way it was all inappropriate.

_For heaven's sake you're her doctor now, so act like one! Stop thinking like a man, be professional._

Sawyer watched closely every move that Jack made. When he noticed that Jack was about to take off her shirt he wanted to stop him. But he knew that Jack was only doing what was right. He always did.

After a few seconds Kate was lying under the shower only in her underwear. She looked so fragile. Sawyer was astonished that the only thing he could think of now was that she was so delicate, for the first time it stuck him that he could actually _lose_ her.

For the last few months he'd wanted her so badly he could hardly breathe. From the time he had met her he dreamed about the moment he would see her naked by his side, feel her body under his hands. But now he would do everything to go back to the times when she hated him, to the times when she really was Jack's girlfriend.

_To the times she was safe._

"If she was with Jack" he thought "She wouldn't be laying here now. Jack would not let it happen". Sawyer felt like a bastard because it was all his fault. She was _dying _because of his stubbornness and stupidity.

"Jack" Although normally it would be hard to hear because of the streaming water for the both men that soft whisper was loud as a gunshot.

"I'm here Kate, everything will be ok, you're with me now" Jack touched her cheek gently, afraid to make a quicker move. He waited for her to say something more but she passed out again.

Sawyer was standing in the entrance to the bathroom witnessing everything that was happening inside, feeling pain in his chest that had nothing to do with the long walk or exhaust. He had just heard Kate whispering Jack's name, she clearly wanted Jack to comfort her, not him.

It was easy to imagine that she would choose Jack in the end, easy to say that he was the right man for her, but to really see her with him was heart breaking.

It was then, when he realized that he could really fall in love with her, damn, that he already loved her.

And even though he knew that the only thing that mattered now was her health, he couldn't stand the thought that when she would wake up, _if _she would wake up, she would be lost for him forever.

………………………………..

Jack turned the shower off and took Kate in his arms. He carried her back to the bedroom and laid her on the bed carefully. Then he started to examine her injuries. He had to sew the wound on her arm and give her antibiotics, after that he shook his head desperately, knowing that there was nothing more he could do.

Sawyer saw the expression on Jack's face and realized that even the all mighty doctor couldn't do anything more to help Kate or at least ease her pain.

But he wasn't a man who could just sit patiently and wait for something to happen.

Full of anger and helplessness he ran to Jack, grabbed him with both hands by his shirt and pushed him to the wall. He was furious and desperate at the same time.

"What the hell…" Jack started loudly but Sawyer cut him off quickly

"Do something! You're the goddamn doctor! The Hero!" There was the slightest bit of insanity in Sawyer's voice, but there was also something else and Jack recognized it. It was resignation.

Jack knew what was happening in the other man's soul so he just stopped fighting and responded calmly "I'm sorry, but you need to understand that there is nothing I can do now, she has to fight it on her own. She needs to have the will to survive. Otherwise she _is_ going to die" He ended that sentence with tears in his eyes.

Sawyer let him go, knowing that arguing was pointless now. He fell on the chair near the bed and grabbed Kate's hand with an irrational fear that if he stopped holding her, the Death would win the final battle and take her.

_Why do you want her? Take me instead… I would certainly make the devil happy. There would be one dirty sonovabitch more in the hell. _

The silence was broken by Ana who suddenly appeared in the door. "I'm going to the camp to see if Locke and Sayid are back" Sawyer didn't even notice her presence and Jack was so busy cleaning the medicines from the table that he only shot her a glimpse. She stood there for a moment, then sighed quietly and left the room.

……………………………..

Kate's chest was moving slowly as she was breathing. Jack and Sawyer watched it blankly, hypnotized by the steady rhythm, trying to convince themselves that everything would be fine. They didn't say anything, words weren't necessary.

They remained silent, both too afraid to say what was coming to their minds.

Both too afraid to hear the truth…


	7. Home

**_Disclaimer:_** Don't own anything

Thank you reviewers! Hugs for everyone…

_**Chapter 7**_

"Shoot her! Target her legs, we want that bitch alive!" The men were chasing her for the last few days but it was the first time they got close enough to have a clear shot. They wanted a reward, and that wasn't much of a surprise. For today, she was worth over one hundred grands and almost every week she was on the run, the reward was getting higher. But Kate didn't want to give up easily, she made her choice. If she had to choose between being imprisoned or dead, she would have to die.

_Tom was right, you always want to run, you never stay in one place for longer than a few weeks. You've spent all your life chasing something that isn't even there. That's why you've never settled down, that's why you can't even stand the thought of being in jail. That would kill you and you know it well. _

Kate looked around her and noticed change in the landscape. The high pines disappeared and she was now surrounded by palms and bushes, it was all strangely familiar although she'd never been to such an exotic place. It came to her mind that she was on an island but she couldn't recall how she had gotten here.

But it wasn't important now. The only thing important was to run way from the men that were hunting her down.

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Sawyer watched Kate tossing on the bed, she had been in this state for the last few hours and he knew that she had not been getting better. Jack said that it would be the most important hours. If she lived through the night, she would probably survive. If not… Sawyer couldn't even think about it, it was too painful.

That's why he was almost happy that she had been breathing so heavily, tossing and turning on the bed, shivering. He didn't have to wonder if she was still alive. Every time she calmed down a little he felt dread rising in his heart. Was it already over? Had she left him forever?

_Kate, Kate, Kate…she gave you light, she gave you hope. Locke said that this island could give you anything you want, anything that is good for you. The island gave you her. But maybe, maybe this place changed its mind, maybe it realized that you're not worth having a new life, not worth her._

_You're getting crazy, you know? You never believed in destiny, and now one girl changes everything, a girl that isn't even in love with you… she is in love with the Doc…_

_You're losing your mind…and that's funny in some way. She dies, you jump from a cliff because you can't survive without her one damn day. It's like some kind of a fucking Greek tragedy. Hell, your whole life is like a Greek tragedy. Your parents, Cass, the man you killed. You bring only pain and misery. _

Sawyer put his head into is hands and run his fingers through his hair, then he stared at Kate blankly. All those thoughts were killing him and he couldn't control it, he didn't even want to control it because that was another form of punishment.

_Yeah, you're great with it, aren't you? You never do anything good, never think before you act and then you just punish yourself… Those last few weeks on this island haven't changed you a bit. You're still the same bastard that left Cass and conned all those other women. The only thing Kate managed to do was make you realize that you really could change your life if you only tried. You're a coward and you know it. That's why you said that Tigers didn't change their stripes. Because you were too afraid to admit that you may actually like being a good person, that you want to be loved. But it would make you too vulnerable, wouldn't it? _

Sawyer wasn't aware of anything that was happening around him. Jack's presence would normally piss him off but now he didn't care. They both remained silent, trying to ignore each other.

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Kate heard shots behind her and unconsciously increased her pace. She knew that she shouldn't run too fast, because she would get tired and collapse. She was scared even though she didn't want to admit it. She felt the breath of death upon her.

The first bullet reached her arm, the second peeled the skin off her leg, the pain was overwhelming but she knew she couldn't give up, she had to run, run for her life.

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Suddenly a loud shriek broke the silence, Kate gave out one piercing scream. Big tears were falling on her pillow, moistening her hair. Both men froze with terror.

"Is this it?" Sawyer asked Jack with low, horrified voice.

"I don't know, she suffers but I can't tell if she is dying or found strength to fight, I just don't know" With those words Jack fell on his knees and started crying, he touched gently Kate's body and in that position, kneeling on the ground with his head resting on the bed and one hand on Kate's leg he was crying out his pain and fear.

Sawyer watched him, feeling like an intruder in a very intimate scene. He felt as if they were making love in front of him, and he couldn't help thinking that if she had awaken it would have stayed this way, this would be the closest he would get to her because Jack would now protect her from him. And was it really so surprising?

_You told Ana that if she hurt her you would have to kill her. So what are you gonna do now, huh? Kill yourself? But then again, death is the easiest way out, isn't it? The greatest punishment will be watching the two of them together, hugging, laughing, touching. His hand upon her face, his fingers caressing her dark hair…his…_

_Yes, this would be the most painful punishment you could imagine. Not that you don't deserve it. Maybe the Island planned it in the first place. Maybe it didn't want to rescue you but make you pay for all the things you did before, all the things you do, all the things you will do in the future._

After a while the expression on Kate's face softened. She didn't look like a woman with troubled past, a murderer. Sawyer realized that he would do everything to save her just to be able to call her Kath, Katie… something sweet and innocent. He wanted her to feel innocent and safe.

Yes, he would give everything he had to keep her alive, but in fact she was everything he had left. Her life was the only thing in the world that mattered to him now.

If she died, there would be nothing but emptiness in his life. And he wasn't sure if he would be able to face the world on his own again.

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"Jack, I need to talk to you" Ana Lucia came into the room unnoticed. "Jack!" She raised her voice a little when there was no response.

"What do you want?" Jack was calmer than a few hours ago. After that horrible scream, Kate's state stabilized and although he didn't want to allow himself to have false hopes he noticed some small changes in her look. Her cheeks were not as pale anymore, and pulse was slightly stronger. Maybe there was still chance…

"I need you on the beach" Ana explained quietly, almost apologizing.

"I'm not going anywhere, I need to stay here" Jack sighted, clearly irritated.

"Sayid came back from the jungle, he is wounded. I looks that John attacked him."

"What!" For a second Jack forgot about the woman laying on the bed a few feet away from him. "Why on earth would Locke attack Sayid?"

"Sayid thinks that Locke wants to find Danielle and make her lead him to the second hatch, that's why he needed the gun so badly." She took a deep breath and then continued again "Jack, she looks much better than a few hours ago, I'm sure you can leave her for some time, If you want I can…"

"I can watch over her" Sawyer interrupted her quickly, at the same time trying to ensure himself that he didn't do it only to steal some private moments with Kate.

Jack looked at him cautiously. Whatever he was thinking of, Sawyer couldn't read it from his face. Finally he answered "Fine, stay with her but call me instantly if she wakes up or if there is even the slightest change in her state. I will send Sun to help you as soon as I get to the beach, ok?"

Sawyer nodded, happy that Jack agreed. After all he didn't have to let him stay here alone, he could have made Ana Lucia stay with him. But then out of sudden it hit Sawyer what made the other man act like that.

_She said Jack's name, not yours. He doesn't have to be afraid you do something stupid, because he is certain that her feelings for him won't change in a few hours. _

_He's got hope, I have nothing_ …

Jack slowly left the room giving Kate one last look as if he was trying to remember her features. Ana followed him after a short while, leaving Sawyer alone in the room, alone with Kate and his thoughts.

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The pain was hard to bear… the gunshot wounds were burning horribly now. With every minute it was more difficult for her to run. Soon she would have to stop, and she didn't even know where she was going. Usually the only important thing was to get as far as possible from something or someone, but this time she had to find a shelter, somewhere safe.

And then, suddenly she realized where she was heading. She had to find him, she was sure that somewhere among the trees he was waiting for her, ready to fight for her life…

Kate saw him standing far on the horizon. He reached his hands towards her and she made the last effort to run faster, because she knew that her only chance for survival was him.

She felt tears filling her eyes. He was there, he didn't leave her just like everyone else did. With her last strength she opened her mouth trying to call his name but to her surprise the only thing that came out of her lips was a whisper…

"Sawyer…"

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"Sawyer…" Her voice was so quiet that normally he wouldn't hear it. But he was alone in the hatch. A place that had walls so thick that even dynamite wouldn't be able to demolish it, so even the slightest noise was loud here. Besides he had been watching her face restlessly for the last few hours so even if he wouldn't hear his name, he would certainly read it from her lips.

"I'm here Kate" he got up from his chair and sat on the bed by her side. "I'm here, everything will be fine" Sawyer watched the rapid movement of her eyelids, she was desperately trying to open her eyes and when she finally succeeded she focused her gaze on Sawyer's face. He held his breath, knowing how fragile that moment was, wanting it to last forever. What if this was the last time she would be alone with him? Maybe she would live after all, but would she live for him, with him?

A little smile appeared on her dried lips "I knew you would save me." Saying those words must've been very exhausting for her, because she closed her eyes again. Sawyer didn't know what she was talking about. For a second he was afraid that she was delirious again, but then he noticed that she really looked much better than before and that gave him hope.

After a few minutes she looked opened her eyes again. "Are we here alone?" the words that came from her lips were louder now. Sawyer felt a flicker of disappointment. Did she want Jack to be here instead of him?

"Yeah Kate, we are alone, but I can go get Jack…if you want" he stared at her meaningfully and she read right through him, realizing that she held the happiness of that man in her hands. With one little word she could make him pay for all the things he did to her.

But if she said "yes" it would make her suffer too.

There was tension in the air, they both waited for her to say something, answer his question both not knowing yet what the answer would be.

Then Kate reached for Sawyer's hand and touched it gently, fondling his long fingers exploring every inch of his skin. He watched it in bewilderment, not daring to move.

Out of sudden she raised her head, looked straight in his eyes and answered in a low, husky voice "No, I'm glad you're here with me"

Kate closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Finally she was safe, finally she didn't have to run anymore. She was on the island, she was with Sawyer… she was home.

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